What's Wrong With This Picture?
by Chicken Scratchings
Summary: Gibbs without coffee? That can never end well. Tony sets out to fix the problem before bad things happen. Features all the team.


**A/N: 'Kay, this is mostly dialogue, I know. But give it a chance anyway. =] Oh, and I've tried to throw a bit of comedy in there too. Let me know how well it all works out.**

**Disclaimer: No beta, so all mistakes are mine. Unlike NCIS, which is not. **

**Enjoy!**

.

Gibbs walked into the bullpen that Monday morning and his team was already there.

"Morning Boss." Three voices.

Gibbs didn't spare them a glance, never mind a reply. His face was set in stubborn annoyance as he sat down heavily at his desk and turned on the computer.

Tony, Ziva and Tim exchanged worried glances, but kept quiet. It didn't take a federally trained investigator to see that Gibbs was in a bad mood.

Five minutes later, with a growl of frustration, Gibbs stood up and headed to MTAC. McGee bit his lip and turned to look at Tony, who frowned and asked "What's wrong with this picture?"

"I think a better question would be what is wrong with Gibbs this morning?" Ziva replied.

Tony shot her a look. "That's what I meant."

"Oh. Well then, I have no idea. I have certainly done nothing to anger him recently."

"Me neither." McGee said, then started to look worried. "Although, maybe I did and didn't realise it. Maybe I said something? Or didn't do something? I'm sure I've kept up on my reports. Unless-"

"Stop it, McFluster. This isn't about you. There's something I'm missing here…" Tony mused, his expression becoming serious as he stared intently at Gibbs desk, searching for clues.

Ziva and McGee did the same.

"Same clothes."

"Same hair."

"Same scowl."

"Same smell."

Ziva and Tony turned to look at McGee, eyebrows raised. "His _smell_?" They smirked.

McGee started to blush. "Yeah, well, I happen to have a hyperaware sense of smell, and Gibbs has a very distinct scent."

Ziva laughed. "Sawdust and Bourbon?"

"Coffee!" Tony cried triumphantly.

"What?"

"Coffee! Gibbs came in this morning and he didn't have any coffee. Gibbs without coffee? When does that happen? Especially first thing in the morning. He always has coffee. He practically mainlines coffee."

"Stop saying coffee."

"But there is no coffee!"

"Tony!" Ziva yelled. "I am aware there is no coffee. But you have said that word so many times in the last twenty seconds that it no longer sounds like a word. Stop it."

"Humph." Tony narrowed his eyes at Ziva, wagging a finger in her direction. "You know I'm right though."

They all knew he was right. McGee was the first to ask, "Why? What could have happened that Gibbs would come to work without-"

"Do not say the word." Ziva warned.

McGee stuttered. "Er- without his caffeine fix?"

Ziva nodded her approval.

"Good question Probie. I have another one. What will happen if Gibbs doesn't _get_ his 'caffeine fix' sometime soon?"

"Er, bad things?" McGee had gone past worried and now just looked scared.

"Bad things Probie. Very bad things. You were there when Abby went a whole two days without _Caf-Pow!_ weren't you?"

McGee shuddered. Ziva looked confused and asked "Why did she not have _Caf-Pow!_? What happened?"

"The company that makes it had a problem with a batch and had it all recalled. The entire of D.C. was out of stock for a week."

"But you said she only went without for two days."

McGee explained. "We had to get it shipped in from Virginia. She was… Well let's just say that when she found out Jerry had moved a piece of evidence before taking a photo, it got ugly."

"I don't think I've ever seen a full-grown man cry that much before." Tony commented.

"Who is Jerry?"

"He transferred shortly after the incident. Before your time. But the point is, that Abby without _Caf-Pow!_ is like Gibbs without coffee. They need it to function. And when they don't have it…"

"Bad things." Tony finished.

Ziva frowned. "But the entire of D.C. is not out of coffee. Surely he can just go and buy some?"

Tony's expression grew thoughtful. "This is Gibbs. He's bought the same swill from the same little coffee shop just round the corner from here every day I've known him. I doubt there's any other shop that would sell coffee that strong. There's probably a health and safety rule against it or something. It's the most vile coffee I've ever tasted, and I've been to England."

"I am surprised it is still open then."

"_Exactly_. Who knows how it's managed to stay open this long? But with the current economic climate pretty much all small businesses are struggling." Tony looked smug, his superior powers of investigation showing themselves yet again. "Fifty bucks says that little shop closed down this weekend."

Ziva pursed her lips. "No bet."

"McGee?"

"No Tony I think you're probably right. No bet." McGee went back to biting his lip and asked, seriously, "The trouble now comes in that… if Gibbs can't have his usual coffee and he can't drink normal coffee, what's going to happen now?"

"I do not want to deal with Gibbs in withdrawal." Even Ziva looked scared.

"Well, it's obvious isn't it?" Tony asked.

"What is?"

"We have to do something."

"Like what?"

Tony smiled slyly and declared. "Don't worry. I have a plan."

Ziva groaned. "Why does that not sound like a good thing?"

McGee ignored her, interested. "Oh yeah, what do you have in mind?"

"Never mind the details. I'll handle those. But I need you two-" he wagged a finger between his fellow agents, "to be on Gibbs duty for a while."

"Hey why do we have to face him?"

"Because I am senior field agent. Because I have stuff to do. And because-"

"You're scared?" McGee smirked.

"I am not scared of Gibbs!"

"Prove it! You take first shift. You handle Gibbs. Defuse the bomb."

"Fine! We'll take it in turns. I'll go first, starting now."

McGee looked surprised, but satisfied. "Hmm. Thank you Tony. That's sorted then."

They all went back to their paperwork and worked silently for a while. McGee was in the middle of finishing a report when Tony stood up and came over to his desk. McGee looked up, confused and annoyed.

"Hey, McGee."

"What?"

"TAG! You're it!" Tony poked him in the shoulder and ran away.

"Hey!" McGee yelped after him. "That's not fair!"

"Senior field agent!" Tony yelled as he scampered towards the elevator. "Have fun!" Just before he stepped into the elevator, he nodded towards the steps leading down from MTAC.

McGee turned to see Gibbs coming down into the bullpen, still without his coffee cup, looking even more annoyed than he had first thing this morning.

"Hey, where's DiNozzo goin'?

McGee gulped. "Um… coffee run?"

He should've seen the headslap coming.

.

**Rightio then. Thoughts? Like it? I kind of have an idea to follow this up, but I'm notoriously unreliable at updating stuff. So this may end up a oneshot, but it may not. **


End file.
